Do you ever get to a place of deep grief and sadness where you don’t want people’s comfort or consolation…you just need to feel it for a minute?
I find myself here again. I hate it and I love it just the same. I hate it because it doesn’t feel good, but I love it because I know that when I’ve crash landed into this spot, that the only One who can meet me here is the One who can see me through it. I know that He is faithful to walk beside me in the dark places…He promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me, and that He will bless me as I walk it out. He promises that He will work all things together for my good if I will submit myself to Him.
My grief and sadness, this time, originate from my own “choosing” if you will. All of the things that I am doing in this season of my life are good things and ones that God has put in front of me to do, but He never intended that I do it alone. A good friend lovingly reproved me last night when she said, “when Chelle stops operating out of compassion, then I know that something is wrong”. And she was absolutely right. I guess I had been feeling it, but was kind of caught in the “snowball effect” of “events” and didn’t realize the level of negativity that I was carrying.
So today, Lord, I feel You calling me back to sit at Your feet…to stop trying to do things in my own strength and to put it back in Your hands. I don’t know quite how to go about it though, so I’m going to need Your help. You are so wise and I am not. No matter how much I am doing “for You”, if I’m not doing it with You, then I am destined to fail, because YOU are my strength.
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